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Monday, 22 September 2008
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Currently Listening
Leave a Whisper
By Shinedown
"45"
see relatedum, iraq
so, everyone asks about iraq.
everyone wants to know what happened and why I got sent home early and why I'm getting kicked out of the marines. long stories...killing isnt fun, and the memories/dreams definately arent. im not sure if anyone will read this...or anything i write here, but i need to get it all out somehow. 17 people is alot, and im not saying this for sympathy or to get praise or anything else...i really couldnt give a shit about what you think of me or my actions. just know that war is hell, and i would never wish this kind of pain on anyone. to have the blood of others on my hands. and then to have been blown up and have my friends die in my arms. what do you say to someone when you know that nothing can save them and you are sitting in the back of an MRAP holding them as they slowly fade?...i dont expect answers, cause its already over. then to go home and see their families.....im sorry. i really am. to hold johns new born baby that he didnt even get to see. to tell tims fiance that he was brave. to see sarai's face everytime i close my eyes, and wish that i never pulled the trigger of the .50 cal?
im sorry i cant handle these thoughts and im sorry i couldnt keep killing. im human and i can only handle so much
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umm, yea
bored....cant sleep, ever since iraq happened, but awake all the time and scared as shit to sleep to see shit, so i will pop no doze and not worry about shit...and i wont have to see Sarai al Muhkam....that cute lil iraqi girl that i am sorry i killed.....they didnt tell me about the nightmares when i enlisted, when i signed that dotted line..... -
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jdusmc86
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- Member Since: 9/22/2008
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